I'm kidding of course. No one reads this blog. It doesn't really matter what I say.
The fact that someone has commented on one of my entries might suggest that I do, in fact, have readers, but don't be deceived! zhu666 claims in a comment he/she left on my second entry here that he/she had read the blog. I smell a rat. Here's what he/she says:
"I have seen your blog and I found a lot of interesting Content... So good image and some good art... I invite you to see mine at here."
I think I've been spammed. Here's what first aroused my suspicions: "I have seen your blog and I found a lot of interesting Content". Pfft! Interesting Content? A blow-by-blow account of that day's episode of Neighbours? I put it to you, zhu666, that you have not seen my blog. What you would have said had you really seen it is "I have seen your blog and it was so dull that it literally made my eyes bleed. Dude, get a life."
The next clue that zhu666 was not entirely on the level came when he/she wrote that he/she found "so good image and some good art". Aha! There hasn't been a single image on the blog, let alone a "so good" one, nor was there anything approaching "some good art." Why would zhu666 lie like that? The answer: "I invite you to see mine at here." A little bit of quid pro quo. He/she praises my blog, I praise his or hers. Well, I'm not going to play that game.
zhu666's comment did, however, make me think. Maybe I should add some sparkle to this blog by putting in a picture or two. I think I will. So, zhu666, just for you:
A SO GOOD IMAGE!
Lyn Scully and Paul Robinson are holidaying in New York at the moment. Here they are posing in front of the Statue of Liberty. Hmm ... it doesn't look as good on the screen as it did in my imagination, but never mind.
"I've done so much shopping!" declares Lyn.
"I know!" laughs Paul, "I didn't even know that my credit cards could be maxed out."
Lyn looks pensive, Paul saying 'maxed out' has made her think of Max Hoyland running away.
"I hope Steph is OK, I wish she could be here!"
"I'm sure she's fine. She was always strong," chimes in Flick.
"Everyone say 'cheese!' " says Michelle and she takes the photo.
****
I think I've really captured the moment there. You'll notice that Lyn is wearing a lovely red dress and matching shoes that she bought in Macy's. Her outfit really suits her. Paul is wearing a Tuxedo and a peg-leg and I don't really know what Flick is wearing. Looks like some sort of black, squiggly little number. Michelle, behind the camera, is wearing a green, velveteen ball gown. They're all off to a fancy restaurant later. Wait what's that! If you look closely, you can see that Lyn Scully is pinching Paul Robinson on the bottom! Cheeky!
Back in Erinsborough, Bree and Rachel have taken to calling Pepper Steiger 'Poo Poo Stinker'. Witty. They're running some sort of lame-arsed campaign against her. Susan's on to them though and has threatened to reveal some of Rachel's godawful poetry to Bree if she persists in making Poo Poo's life any more difficult for her. I think that's a bit of a breach of Rachel's confidence on Susan's part there. She ought to be able to discipline her stepdaughter without recourse to blackmail. She's only stooping to their level. Susan Kinski, you should get back on the moral high ground!
What else? Oh yeah. The House of Trouser mob are still scrambling for our attention. The bloke who Poo Poo is going out with / not going out with got hit on the head with a wrench. No one knew who did it, although he did get a dodgy phone call involving someone being shot while he was at the hospital. But it turned out to be a horse. The other guy, whose name I can't be bothered to remember, answered it and he and Carmella's sister leapt to the conclusion that their housemate was a gangster. Carmella's sister should know, coming, as she does, from Erinsborough's premier Mafia family.
I have a confession to make. It was me who hit Poo Poo's boyfriend with the wrench. I am going to systematically murder all of the Neighbours characters one by one. First it was that guy who isn't who he says he is in the House of Trouser with the wrench, next it will be Zeke Kinski in Susan's kitchen with the candlestick then Mishka in the Billiard Room with the lead piping. Janae kindly agreed to take the rap for me with some preposterous story about how she threw the wrench over the fence when she was practising fixing an engine. That was good of her. It won't stop me killing her in the Timmins Hallway with the Revolver however.
Stingray is still grappling with alcoholism, though Harold has taken him in hand now and it looks like he means business. Stingray managed to dodge the many-jowelled god of Neighbours and borrowed/stole $100 off Janae in order to go on a bender and now we don't know where he is. Tsk. Tsk.
Meanwhile, the Baby Cellar still hasn't cottoned on to the Baby Seller's evil intentions. I wonder how long they can drag this plotline out for. Is the Baby Seller going to snatch Sky's baby from her as it pops out?
Max is still missing and Toady has temporarily moved into the Hoyland domus. And Summer's back. Rachel, Bree and I all squealed with pure joy. Summer's jacked in her music school, but Toady, Steph and Susan are all sceptical as to the wisdom of her decision so her Sojourn on Ramsey Street may not be a long one.
Today's cliffhanger involved the Baby Seller whispering to Sky's bump. That was either creepy or absurd. I can't decide which.
More Neighbours when and if I can be bothered.
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